Slow ride

Am I a Halloween grinch for zapping some particular little kid and their chaperone with the invisible death rays mounted in my car headlights (you know you wish you had them in your car too)? I was stuck on 37th street behind a line of cars thinking there was some kind of spontaneous parade, accident or an arrest going on ahead. Then I notice a little kid chucking candy into the back of one of the cars. Then a minute later he does it again and I realize HE"S BEING DRIVEN FROM HOUSE TO ROWHOUSE TO TRICK OR TREAT. At a geologic pace no less. Now if this was somewhere in rural Nebraska where the next farm over to bag some candy was 2 miles away, I could understand not making the kid earn his sugar. But, this is Baltimore, where we all live microscopically close to each other. I just hope the little guy isn't morbidly obese by age 10. Still, there were some really cute little kids working hard for the treats last night. Too bad I've got a 3rd floor apartment. Someday I'll be one of those guys with a coffin on my front lawn with a bowl of candy next to it and me hiding inside.